Michael Eza

The Rules for Tipping



Posted: Thursday, September 29, 2011

by Michael Eza

Why Tipping is a non-choice:

Without tips there would be no sit-down restaurants, period. Tipping is a standard and it is factored into every decision a tip loving restaurant makes. Tipping exists; that makes it a standard, like a social contract and fifteen percent is the minimum. Forget about minimum wage or pay because the government takes that right back in taxes. Only cash tips can be undeclared in recent days. That means every credit tip gets taxed, and it gets taxed a lot more than your wages, since the pay is gratuitous that's the kind of tax it gets.

Furthermore, the people who work as servers are doing it at weird times, when people normally eat, yet people still want to see them at their most chipper and intelligent even while carrying five burning plates of food, at least 4 bills to be dropped or cashed and maybe a drink or two in their hands, Oh and before they put any of it down lets make sure to tell them how there is no napkin next to their food or that they sat down at a dirty table. Oh and you people who go into restaurants and sit at dirty tables go to Burger World or McDuffy's and be done with it. Don't come into a fine-class dining establishment, wait until there is no one at the door, then sneak in and sit down at dirty table when there are clearly clean ones around. Furthermore, if you do for some logical reason do that and realize you did, please do not suddenly look up and get angry because a) no one noticed you, b) the table is dirty, c) Its too noisy, d) its to cold or hot or e) all of the above. Also if you sit at a dirty table, put up a fuss about it and then don't leave a tip you should be banned from everything restaurant, but fast food for the rest of your life, in fact I would like to see a real law to that effect.

No one serves because they want to. If they could get another job they would. If they just needed some extra cash, they wouldn't be hired in a restaurant as anything but a host. Restaurant workers work full-time, without adequate benefits, pay, job security or sick time at all and very little vacation time. Some servers, perform their duties pregnant, until the day they give birth and are often back at work less than a week later. These people eat when they can and are required to be on their feet 99% of the time they are working. Servers are usually prettier than strong so this is not an easy task for those performing it and many end up with back-pain, ankle and wrist problems and permanent scarring from burns. Finally if a server has to work on a holiday there will be some customer there minutes before close till at least thirty minutes, but most of the time an hour after close. Yes even on Christmas and yes restaurant workers have family too. And lets not forget why restaurant workers do all this nonsense to serve you (mind you, serving is one of the most popular, yet most often un-unionized with no federal state or local representation, jobs in the country). And here 'you' represents those people who can afford to go out and eat, which most often servers can't.

Finally to those of you who think it is okay not to tip, here's a tip for you, to you not tipping is an amount of money saved that will pool over into some other account eventually and cause to you that much more of a personal asset value. To the server who you are not tipping that money represents their food, a college textbook they need, a present for a loved one they now can't afford, or maybe some gas to make it from work back home.

Second, that non-tip is a personal shame, and an insult as bad as "bleep you" from a random stranger.

Third, its a personal failure of a perceived inability to do ones job, even though that is never the case.

Fourth, it is a motivation to anger for the entire restaurant, yes the entire restaurant, yes even if you complained to the manager, yes even if you wrote an email. Restaurant owners also hate non-tippers because they poorly affect the overall operation and atmosphere of the business.

Fifth, a no tip is actually negative money to a server because every bill a server takes makes them pay out of their tips at least the bartender and at most the bar, the kitchen, the bus boys, and the hosts. If you don't tip a server they actually have to pay these people for you because these people get a percentage of the overall gross for that night its usually 1-10% leaving as little as 5% for the server with an average 15% tip which by the way is no longer average. The average is now somewhere around 18% with many people tipping 20% like it is the new average.

And finally for the no-tippers everything you saw in Fight Club is true; I have seen people do all of that, (except the fighting and craziness, yes everything related to the food service industry is true.) Also everything in Waiting and Waiting 2 is true, not joking. If you don't tip this is what you get, not a threat, a warning.

Also some non-tippers think they can both get people fired and go to other restaurants to prevent bad service, hmmm I smell a logical err. As you see, if you get a person fired for bad service and then go to another restaurant because of the bad service, just where in your town do you thing the fired restaurant employee is going to get another job, at another restaurant I suppose, perhaps the one you plan on taking your business to, yeah about that. Furthermore, no a manager is not going to fire an employee because you say so, actually that manager will probably help give you worse service next time, I quote from a manager "Sometimes messing with the checks food seems like too much work because its just one more step for no reason, but that's not going to stop me from doing it."

And by the way non-tippers who think servers are uneducated, servers are actually former veterans of war, college students or graduates and managers. Yes when their aren't enough servers, managers put on the uniform and you non-tippers would never know. Actually I know a few people who tried to complain about a manager/server in order to get him fired, no it didn't work. You people who complain to managers, learn. Managers unlock the restaurant, lock it, fire people for stealing or lying and hire people, they don't care about your petty complaints. There are some people who care, but without an email to corporate or the owner nothing will happen and if the server has a good reputation, still nothing will happen. Servers mostly quit and rarely get fired. What kind of world do you live in Sy2502? Oh and by the way if you leave a zero tip and think you won't get stopped at the door, think again. Servers and hosts do it all the time. No one will force you to pay, but we will mention it loudly and politely ask you if you wanted your three cents back or if you forgot to do math correctly, but if you just don't sign it we will put your tip through anyway with a description of you look like on the back of the check (This is legal).

Additionally, think you might be a non-tipper, think again, we know who you are and often will add gratuity on to your checks just to spite you. Don't worry you won't catch it because those of you who we do it to are usually past the legal limit, because it only takes two even though we can usually serve you five or more sometimes (by the standards of the law).

Finally did you not tip, did you forget your wallet, then did you walk back in thinking someone would have found it, no you didn't because you know they wouldn't say that they had. So if you are a non--tipper and you think that is okay, don't worry the restaurants know you, by how you look, act, talk, dress and dine and they know what you owe and how you will pay it, there's way more servers than there are non-tippers. Ever hear the phrase don't bite the hand that feeds you.

"And I know no matter what the waitress brews I should drink it and always be full" Hootie and The Blowfish.
Michael is an activist who has helped solve problems with the environment, children's health and he has helped to find missing children.

Take a look at some of his stories and feel free to comment, like, or high 5 them. He generally writes about all sorts of topics, most of his recent topics are about teaching, writing and poetry.

Love the words! Wryte Stuff.
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